PV East Dorms - Lobby Bathrooms

At a Glance

• Single Bathroom
• Urinal Included
• Hooks: Yes
• Graffiti: Yes
• Supplies: Well Stocked

Traffic

Poop in peace my brothers and sisters. The glory of the single bathroom is yours for the taking!

Overall - 5/5; No Traffic

Location

Up the ramp next to the entrance to the hub

Initially the lobby appears to be locked behind a card scanner, which only residents of the dorms can use. However, this is easily bypassed if you detour through the hub. You may be tempted to just use the bathrooms in the hub area, but resist! These bathrooms are immensely nicer, and only a few steps further. 

If you live at these dorms, I HIGHLY recommend the trip down to the lobby to avoid using your own bathroom. I imagine it looks terrible you filthy animal.

The bathrooms are a little bit hard to spot at first, but can be found at the top of the accessibility ramp.

Overall - 3.5/5; Fairly Easy to Access For Those in PV East

Cleanliness and Atmosphere

Like most engineers, I was unfortunate to find myself in the PV East dorms. The cramped and old rooms were made to seem even more inhospitable by the view of the glowing beacon of the Manzanita dorms just across the way, which, although not amazing, were the symbol of luxury to us. The worst part were undoubtedly the bathrooms; a small shabby room strained by the effort of accommodating four freshman who had little intention of keeping it clean beyond the most basic levels.

So if this is a situation you find yourself in, you will be every so pleased to discover the oasis that resides beneath your very feet. Impeccably clean, and the perfect escape if you need a minute or two to yourself.

Overall - 3.5/5; Fairly exquisite

Summary 

Definitely choose if in the area, especially over the PV East Hub bathroom

4/5

Brickyard Artisan Court - 2F

Intro

Although primarily used for engineering, many other students might find themselves here for a math or statistic class, among many others. Although the most primer of bathrooms can be found in the main Brickyard building (at 3rd floor or higher), if you find yourself in the Artisan Court, you might find that walk too much trouble, especially when the bathroom here is actually fairly competent. 

However, as tempting as the first floor bathroom is, I fully endorse going to the second floor, as it is extremely close by. 

At A Glance

• 2 Urinals; 1 Stall
• Hooks: Yes
• Disposable Covers: Yes*
• Supplies: Fully stocked
• Graffiti: N/A
• Lighting: Poor

*These are the thinnest covers I've yet experienced. Make sure to double up for maximum protection

Overall: 3/5

Traffic

The reason to go to this bathroom instead of the first is for the incredibly low traffic. I often only come across 1 other person while using this particular bathroom. 2 if it's an extended stay.

Overall: 4/5 - Great!

Location

It's only a small staircase to the second floor, and there is even an elevator for full accessibility (or if you are incredibly lethargic). If you don't wish to go the extra mile to the brickyard, it's worth the trouble.

Overall: 4/5 - Very close

Atmosphere & Cleanliness

You'll find the bathroom plain, but well kept. This is used a lot less frequently than the 1st floor, which is already in top notch condition. The only real drawback is the lighting is incredibly poor. There is something draining about low light environments, and I left more tired than I came in.

Overall: 3/5 - Plain, but clean

Summary

A very safe bet to choose. Close and reliable.

3.5/5

However, there is one important thing to note about this bathroom, however it's important to note this is not a usual thing. However it bugged me so much I made a video about it. Enjoy:

SDFC - First Floor Unisex Locker Room Bathroom

At a Glance

Honestly I'd probably sleep on this

• Single Bathroom
• Includes a urinal. The long kind that makes you wish you didn't wear flip flops
• Press to Lock Button*
• Bench: I know what you are thinking, but it is surprisingly clean. I would safely sit on it
• Hooks: Yes; they are directly above the bench, so anything you hang up will most likely rest on the bench anyways.
• Disposable Covers: Yes; well stocked
• Graffiti: N/A
• Supplies: Well stocked
• Sink is automatic**
• Includes a Dyson air dryer

Add captio

Footnotes:

*Press to Lock Button: Unnecessary? Maybe. Totally rad? Definitely.

**Sink: Take heed! The sink launches an incredibly 

powerful blast of water. Try as you may, you will most likely get a bit wet. 

Overall - 4.5/5

Traffic

Decisions, Decisions

There is a special kind of peace that only a one-man bathroom can bring. It feels as if the rest of the world has melted away. For the next few minutes, all that exists is you, and your thoughts. This bathroom has an added bonus of being tucked out of the way; there should be no knocks at the door to disturb your meditation.

Overall - 0/5

Location

This bathroom is not easily discovered on your own. In fact, it teeters on even being considered secret.

To find it, go to the treadmill and racquetball area on the first floor. Follow the left wall until you find a door behind the last treadmill with a unisex icon, and labeled "Locker room". This will bring you to a small hallway, and the bathroom should be on your right.

Overall - 4/5

It's one of those urinals

Atmosphere and Cleanliness

A small and cozy abode. Narcissists will be pleased to learn that not only do large mirrors adorn the walls, but there is one positioned directly in front of the toilet allowing you to fix your hair while you finish business. 

The room is incredibly clean for the most part. The floor appears to have gone a day too long without a mop, but this is a minor complaint. The bowl appeared spotless, and the sink and mirror area were without fault.

Overall - 4.3/5

Your View

Summary

Absolutely my go to whenever I find myself in the fitness center. A perfect unwind after a workout.The only thing holding this bathroom back is it's out-of-the-way location

Overall - 4.6/5

MU - 2nd Floor: North Bathrooms

Full Memorial Union Building Guide

*Pictures to come*

At A Glance

• Urinal Dividers: Not only is each individual urinal divided, but the entire section of urinals are separated by a wall from the rest of the bathroom. Now that's privacy!
• Disposable Covers: Yes
• Hooks: Yes
• Graffiti: N/A
• Supplies: Well stocked; *Air blowers instead of paper towels

3/5

Location

There is a staircase next to the Starbucks which should take you right to these bathrooms. Incredibly close and requires little effort to get to.

4/5

Traffic

Assuming you visit during the busiest hours, you should find about half the crowd you would find on the first floor. The stalls are almost never filled; usually you'll only share the bathroom with 1 or 2 neighbors, but it is possibly to have more at times.

If there is events going on in the nearby ballrooms, expect a larger influx of visitors. Perhaps consider going to third floor.

2/5

3.5/5 - Busy Hours

Atmosphere and Cleanliness

While the rest of the MU goes for a maroon and grey theme, this bathroom features a lot of thin steel designs for the stalls and dividers. It feels very sleek, and stands out among the rest of the restrooms, however the lighting is a bit more dim. The bathroom is contains a multitude of urinals, stalls, and sinks, ensuring you'll never be left wanting.

You will find the level of cleanliness LEAGUES above the first floor, however it just barely falls short of beating the third floor for cleanest in MU. 

3.5/5

Overall

I recommend this bathroom over all others in the MU for it's ratio of location/cleanliness. If you are seeking somewhere less crowded, consider the south bathroom, or the third floor.

3.5/5

Hayden Library - Building Overview

Overview

Considered a sanctuary by many who enter it's hallowed halls. Some students spend many a night here, slaving away at their homework. Come finals week, the air is heavy with the smell of desperation--which incidentally smells similar to the body odor of one who hasn't bathed in a few weeks.

If, like me, you find yourselves spending quite a bit of your life here, you'll eventually heed to the screams of your bowels. Thus, you must arm yourselves with the knowledge here so you may poop efficiently.

Toilet Guide

Often in buildings you want to avoid the ground floor bathrooms like the plague--as it's actually possible they do have the plague--and instead climb the building as high as needed to find the cleanest bathroom offered (Often referred on this blog as The Golden Rule) . Hayden Library, however, does not follow this rule, as it houses very few bathrooms to begin with. This, combined with the high traffic Hayden always receives, results in bathrooms that are perpetually sub-par.

To be at all content pooping in this library, you must first admit to yourself that you will never have a great poop here. However, once you understand this, you can focus on having a passable poop. Your bet bet here is the bathroom located in the group area behind Charlie's Cafe. However, quality cannot be guaranteed during the more busy hours. In fact, in most cases, there will be little difference between any of the bathrooms, so I recommend simply choosing whatever is nearest.

Full Bathroom List

B2:

• Near Elevator - 2/5

B1/Main Floor:

• Near Entrance - 2/5
• Near Elevators - 2.5/5
• Near Group Area - 2.7/5

F1:

• N/A

F2:

• Near Elevators - 2.3/5

F3:

• N/A

MU - Building Overview

Overview

Here at ASU, the Memorial Union (MU) is nearly as iconic as Palm Walk. Everyone has eaten here at least one time in there career as a student, and it's also host to many events on all it's floors. My first semester I fondly recall coming here everyday, consuming Chick-fil-a in a sort of buttermilk ranch haze, until ultimately ending up in a sort of food coma filled with bipedal cows carrying signs that read "Deth komes 2 us all". Haven't touched the stuff since.

Toilet Guide

The bathrooms on the first floor of the MU are far from a fun time, but this is not a surprise to the more experienced pooper. However, it's an inevitability that many students will hear the call of nature while in the vicinity of  the MU area. At this moment you may find your mind calculating whether the effort of finding a more palatable bathroom is worth the effort, and many often resign to their fate of mediocrity. 

However I am here today to tell you hope is found at the MU; not only can you find a decent bathroom, you may sign up to become a frequent flyer.

The key lies, as always, in the Golden Rule of pooping. Yes, the second floor of MU offers solace in the form of two bathrooms to choose from, and if that isn't enough to excite you, there is even the often forgotten third floor bathroom.

"Third floor?", you may conjecture, "Poppycock; none of the stairs I know of go up that far!"

Well Mr. Strawman, you are obviously using neither the correct stair case, nor the elevator. The third floor is accessed by the stairs located next to the Taco Bell, and is used primarily for student organizations, frat/sobriety life, undergrad government, and other such needs. The bathroom is located directly across from the elevator, which is a straight shot from where the stairs let out. There is a front desk blocking your way, but if you walk with a purpose and do not make eye contact, they should give you no trouble. If they do, God rest your bowels.

Full List

B1

• Across from Sparky's Den - Not Good/5

F1

• Hallway connecting Starbucks and Chick-Fil-A - Even Worse/5
• Lost and Found - Eh, It's alright/5

F2

• North Stairs - 3.5/5
• South Stairs/Elevator - 3/5

F3

• Across from Elevator - 3.5/5

Hayden Library - B2

Full Hayden Guide

At a Glance

Disposable Covers: No

Hooks: Yes; Some broken

Dividers: Yes

Supplies: Moderately Stocked All Around
Graffiti: N/A

Other: This bathroom lacks the fancy laptop holders some of the other bathrooms have

2.5/5

Location

This is the only bathroom on the base floor, and easy enough to get to. No point if you are not already down there, however.

3.5/5

Traffic

Roughly about the same as the other floors: Quite a bit of traffic, never a moment alone.

4/5

Atmosphere and Cleanliness

This was my first visit to this floor of Hayden, and I was surprised to find that I severely underestimated the amount of people there were. My hope for a more secluded and clean bathroom was quickly dashed as I stepped into the room. There isn't much to say, it mirrors the second floor bathroom in everything except for traffic honestly (this bathroom having a bit more).

2.5/5

Summary:

It's passable. And really, are you going to go all the way out of the building to find something better? Your time is better spent studying.

2/5